I ’ve never been to Norway . I guess it ’s reckon to be like Minnesota , but with more fjord and trolls or something . But you know where I have been ? Epcot . Which is kind of the same matter . Right ?
Yesterday , the Epcot attraction officially known as Maelstrom ( more commonly just phone “ the Norway ride ” ) carried its last visitors . The ride is gettingreplaced with a Modern attractionbased on the smash hit Disney movie Frozen . I guess because Baron Snow of Leicester . Oh , and perpendicular integration .
The Norway drive took you through some bizarre version of Norwegian history and mythology . You ’d float past audio - animatronic vikings , scary three - headed trolls , and tremendous crude oil rig . finally you ’d be dumped into “ innovative Norway ” and an auditorium where you could watch a moving-picture show made in the 1980s about how great Norway is .
Epcot wonk all have different opinions on the closure of the Norway drive . Many , like myself , are a bit upturned to see a dear ride from our childhoods close down . Others invoke Walt Disney ’s famous words about Disneyland ( the one in California , since he did n’t survive to see the one in Florida built ): “ Disneyland will never be finish up . ” The implication being that we should never feel bad when a Disney magnet start a reboot — that ’s what Uncle Walt would ’ve want .
Outsiders , if they care at all , are no doubt just happy the Disney - fication of some strange experience is dead . Because Disney ’s version of Norway was about as representative of the country and its culture as anything else Disney does . Which is to say , not very precise at all . But does that matter ?
The three - headed troll of Maelstrom ( circa 1991 )
The closing of this ride is stimulate me to face a strange panorama of my puerility , and I guess the way that I view the worldly concern overall : most of my experience in sprightliness have beenhyper - realimitations of the authentic thing . Which is n’t so much an existential crisis as the logical conclusion of 20th century consumer capitalist economy .
As I said , I ’ve never been to Norway , but a quick geographic expedition of 1970s and 80s futurism will show you that this was n’t suppose to matter by now . The past times is littered with forecasting that the future would be fulfill with simulate experiences that make geography and history itself irrelevant . You do n’t involve to await much further than the pages of The Futurist magazine or the 1973 filmWestworld .
Even many predictions for TV in the thirties visualize that programme media would make travel unnecessary and rather silly . The future could take you anywhere . The time to come could make you palpate anything .
And in a 21st C world filled with theme parks like Epcot , the mainstream solemnisation ofcosplay , and the [ re-]emergence of virtual reality technology likeOculus Rift , many versions of those time to come feel as close as ever . But where does that will my Epcot - woolly mind ? A brain influence byregular visitsto the theme park .
I Traveled to Hawaii and London in This Weird VR Holodeck
TheWorld Showcaseportion of Epcot is in some ways a version of that simulated future we were all predict . The “ lasting World ’s Fair ” aspect of Epcot appropriate jillion of the great unwashed each class to take the air through eleven unlike countries over the class of an afternoon . Most people throughout chronicle have had “ fake ” experiences with different places , whether that ’s through Quran or motion-picture show or really aggregative media of any kind . But today , the possibleness for full immersion is bang-up than ever . And we might need to ask ourselves what that does to our understanding of the world .
My first experiences with 1 ) a subway 2 ) San Francisco and 3 ) an temblor , were all fake reading of each at a theme park in Orlando . It was calledEarthquake : The Big Oneand the Universal Studios drive gave 10 - year - previous me a penchant of things that I would n’t feel until a decade afterwards . And in the shell of an actual earthquake , two ten later .
For the platter , a substantial seism is much scarier than a simulated one . But the false San Francisco subway was pretty much smirch on , save for the odour of feces .
Should any of this matter ? Do we handle that TV games like Call of Duty will be the tightlipped thing next pol sending kids off to war will ever see resembling scrap ? Or that Epcot ’s adaptation of Italy or Japan are bare caricatures of the real thing ? And perhaps more fundamentally , is a fake experience ( however garble or imperfect ) better than no experience at all ?
For the American in-between class , a family trip to Disney World is kind of like a pilgrim’s journey . You ’re expected to go at least once . But if you ca n’t make it , you may be award a special dispensation by praying at the altar of your local Disney Store and buying the special edition of Finding Nemo on DVD . But for those who can go ( as my family did ) you ’re expected to soak up as manyrobo - presidents , copy Californiasand evenfaux - futuresas possible .
And it ’s all fun as hell ! But perhaps it ’s also the dystopian version of wholesome hedonism that ’s just one big joke on America ’s corporate subconscious mind — a post where history , futurism , and geographics are all turned into upside down parodies of themselves .
candidly , I ’m not certain how I ’m conjecture to be palpate about the demise of Maelstrom , my ersatz Norway . I ’m mourning the demise of a theme common drive that purport to demonstrate the history and mythology of a country I ’ve never rile to bring down . It was a pretence of reality that I will never get to experience again . So I guess now I ’m stuck with having to in reality visit Oslo . I just desire it has three - manoeuvre trolls .
Images : Screenshots from a 1991 EPCOT halfway promotional video
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