If you ’re not watching The Witches of East End , I would n’t say you ’re missing out , exactly . Sometimes , the show ’s a veritable cornucopia of nonsensical , over - the - top chip that are a delicious mode to spend an hour . Sometimes , though , the show wanders and spins it wheels and attempt boring romance that is a waste of prison term . The season 2 finale was both those thing .
First of all , an apology : I was out of town all weekend , so I could n’t watch or recap . And then I pick up that the finish was a two - hour extravaganza . Honestly , it was so long , I had to take breaks .
If there was a ordered plot this season , I ca n’t really tell you about it . For all its speculative power point , season one had a single villain and spent the whole season actuate towards her frustration . This season should have focused on Joanna and Wendy ’s malevolent Asgard world-beater beginner and kill him . But we had to keep wind off on tangents about Killian , Eva , and Freya ’s love triangle and Dash and Ingrid cover up murders . Neither of which was associate to the malefic king , who did n’t even show up until the last few installment .
alternatively of a secret plan review , here are all the ludicrous thing in those two - minute , in order of how pants - shittingly insane they are :
Killian Is Edgar Allan Poe
This one would be high , be we technically learned it in the last instalment . It ’s so banana , though , that I express mirth every single time he take the air on screen . And then hard at his stress .
Killian lie in dying because he voluntarily drank toxicant so he could be with Freya
Haha , Killian . You were the last mortal anyone bothered to tell that the baby were n’t stagnant . Also , Ingrid gets him something to delay his death while she figures out something to do , but he throw away the bottle . Oh , Killian . It ’s like you ’re not even trying .
The outfits Joanna , Freya , and Wendy bear to “ go in ” with the past
Just robes bedevil over their 2014 dress . Also , Freya ’s been in her burial dress for a long time now .
Grandpa the pregnancy exam
Yeah , grandpa ’s all “ you ’re significant . ”
Edgar Allan Poe : Master of Seduction
The FBI agent have sex with her murder defendant .
Is this the standard interrogation technique ?
The spell to read the miss entropy out of Dash ’s head
So after putting back together the malefic charm journal that they burn in the first place this season , Dash forebode not to take them , him translate them , and then misplace them to the FBI broker ( probably ) , they have to resort to this . Frederick pulling the info from Dash ’s retentiveness , say the spells out loud , and Ingrid translating them all and cross them off the list .
These butterfingers let the evil spirit wanton
I ’m so glad 2 and one-half episodes were devote to getting this matter . Now it ’s own Tarkoff and you ca n’t use it against the evil queen .
How they wrote Frederick out
Bet that ’s not presage anything .
This guy .
Apparently , Freya and Wendy gave this man a message for Ingrid in the 1800s . Which he carry for two 100 . How ? Why ? Who knows ? Never explained .
The “ dire ” and “ horrific ” effects of clock time traveling for too long
The money for this episode must have all gone to the effect and period sets and costumes . Because this was supposed to be the worst thing that could happen , and it was just some line of descent smear on them .
Ingrid being sealed up in the wall
Grandpa is n’t mess up around .
Wendy give up her last life history for the sexy EMT
We spent like FIVE MINUTES with this guy and we may lose WENDY over him ? FUCK EVERYTHING .
Yeah , Ingrid ’s pregnant
Why take a test , you had grandpa differentiate you . Also , is it the blasphemous tentacle behemoth or Dash that ’s the father ?
Freya ’s candy kiss brings Killian back to life
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! He was utter ! I was detached of this unintelligent plotline ! * weeps *
Dash and Killian switch bodies
Dash gets arrested for that slaying he totally committed . So he decides to get out of gaol by switch bodies with Killian . This is the only thing that takes the confidence trick out of Killian being alert . Since now Dash is sham to be Killian and in dearest with Freya . So I ’m betting Ingrid ’s baby is his , just to draw out the bizarreness of Dash have to be around but pretend it has nothing to do with him .
Almost all the best percentage of the finale had nothing really to do with the principal secret plan of defeating the evil king . alternatively , they place up some adorable bits of ridiculous to be tackled next season , put on they get one : the pregnancy , switched bodies , whoever kill Frederick , Wendy ’s death , Tarkoff being possessed — these are all for later .
It would be dainty for season three to be non - stop weirdness . As opposed to this season ’s ennui with brief forays into the lovely insanity I fuck in season 1 .
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