Mick Carney and Laura Carney.Photo: Courtesy of Laura Carney
“We named the dog Indiana.”
“It’s a show about nothing!”
“Don’t call me Shirley.”
“There’s no crying in baseball!”
His favorite Muppet was Rowlf the Dog, his favorite impressionSean Connery. He loved the Beatles, Motown and dirty jokes. He sang like an old crooner.
“We’re Griswolds.”
“Hello, Newman.”
(L-R) Joan Wilson, Laura Carney and Mick Carney.Courtesy of Laura Carney
“But enough about me, what do you think of me?”
“Modesty’s my best quality.”
According to the list, he’d wanted to talk with the president,correspond with the popeand own a tennis court. He’d wanted a large house and his own land, a cellar of fine wines—toskydive at least once. These were a young man’s goals—29, to be exact. He wrote the list in 1978, the year I was born. My mom laughed along with him when she read it. But she didn’t know, because of their divorce, that he kept checking it off his whole life.
The List.Paul Porowski
“‘See a World Series game live,’ I remember when he did that,” my brother recalled. He’d also checked off “Be interviewed on a radio program” and “Do a comedy monologue.” He’d owned “a great record collection” and helped “his parents enjoy their retirement.” But the day a teenager made a phone call at a red light, his remaining dreams went undone.
Mick Carney and Laura Carney.Courtesy of Laura Carney
“Did you just double-dip?”
“These pretzels are making me thirsty!”
My dad didn’t live long enough to watchThe Office. He never knewArrested DevelopmentorCurb Your Enthusiasm.Mad Menwas up his alley—but he also missed that one.
I don’t know sometimes which makes me sadder: that he couldn’t walk me down the aisle or that we can’t talk about Marvel. He loved storytelling. And he made me love it too.
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“Who’s the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?”
“These are not the droids you’re looking for.”
My dad’s favorite show wasStar Trek. The minute I decided to finish his bucket list, my life turned into sci-fi, with a pinch of 1980s slapstick. At 38, when I was told to settle down, I instead headed into the unknown. And with every item, something ridiculous happened.
Laura Carney checking off “skydive at least once” skydiving.Skydive East Coast
Yet each time one of these silly things happened, I knew my dad was saying hi. He always wanted me to take life less seriously.
Laura Carney and Steven Seighman pose with President Jimmy Carter and First Lady Roslyn Carter.Courtesy of Laura Carney
“Be the ball.”
“Norm!”
My dad was like Uncle Buck, if Uncle Buck could sing. I know he’s proud of me, finding closure in his mortality, finding sense in something senseless. Finding the story. But I think what makes him the most proud is that 54 people helped me check off his bucket list—people who, though doing something new, helped me re-create our rituals.
Those moments we share in the ballpark, in the theater, on the basketball or tennis court, at the beach, on a long drive, in a diner telling jokes…these are the times when we feel connected to something bigger. Not when we’re doing something stupendous. “Life is lived in little moments,” my dad said. What matters in life are those more mundane times, when we think we’re not doing much, but we’re doing it with someone we love.
Laura Carney.bacolosphotos.com
I was blessed to have an entertainer dad—because of his favorite one-liners, I get to hear his voice for the rest of my life. Learning to listen again reminded me to laugh. And taught me to believe in my voice, too.
“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!”
As I walk this road of bringing my story to the world, I know Dad is with me, reminding me to skip sometimes, maybe even dance.
I am relishing this finish line. I’m not running.
cover of My Father’s List: How Living My Dad’s Dreams Set Me Free.Steven Seighman
Laura Carney’s memoir,My Father’s List, is available to order now.
source: people.com
