Gizmodo Dot Com Should Pay For Me To Buy An Aquarium

If you ’re anything like me , the last yr of social distancing and lockdown has not been in force for your social life , hobby , or generally doing interesting things at all . go to movies , eating place , bar , concert , or events are for the most part non - appetizer ; political party and other social gatherings involving more people than can be counted on one hand are a distant store ; video gaming have at the same time become more obsessional and less sport ; I ’m not about to take up unpaid practice or recital . I demand a Modern hobby that can be safely practiced in the home and does not require I learn a useful skill , like play the guitar .

That ’s why I am calling for Gizmodo window pane com to right away buy me a fish cooler .

See , it ’s been a while , but I actually used to be a fish tank testicle . I had a 20 - ish Imperial gallon army tank in my college residence hall room , which I then swapped out for a 55 congius community aquarium over the protestations of my roommates . My recollection is blurred , but old Facebook posts argue that this was what could have charitably been phone a learning experience .

Photo: Benny Snyder (AP)

I ’m not asking for much , just an opportunity to do it again and do it mightily . I ’m not enquire for a saltwater tank setup — allow ’s not go crazy — just a planted freshwater tank of restrained size of it , stocked with unusual and colorful tropical fish , some escargot , and , if we ’re find savory , a vibrant , hardy peewee or two . I found a overnice “ widescreen ” one come in at 13.6 congius , but I would n’t say no to one holding in the neighborhood of 20 to 25 gallon . I ’d choose a kit frame-up but if you require me to go hog wild I ’m indisputable I come up with a sick list of individual parts to slap together and wreak us all down to Tom ’s Fish Town . Oh , and one of those 50 - foot hosiery that screws onto a sink and eliminates the need for bucketful . Maybe a canister filter with inlet and outlet hoses that circulate piss through the storage tank , nullify the innovation of barren dead zones , as well as the increase vaporisation and risk of accidental injury to tank stock that comes with a bent on back ( HOB ) filter .

As I have now established , fish are tech .

Fiiiiiish …

Screenshot: Facebook

Screenshot: Facebook

… Taaaaank .

Unlike my workfellow Bryan Menegus , I ’m open to all kinds of thing , really . I just establish out about Neolamprologus brichardi , a type of small , 3.5 - inch tropic rift lake cichlid that makes its home ground in exactly the variety of shells that I could carry the floor of my tank with . ( They ’re called shellies ! ) My research go me to consider that a tank between 15 - 25 gallons would be agreat environmentfor a small family of them , though if I decease with a pair of its more peaceable cousinNeolamprologus brevis , I couldpotentially fitin afew armored combat vehicle mate , like the Masked Julie ( Julidochromis transcriptus ) .

Cichlids are nerveless . But Gizmodo could also bankroll my origination of a passive community storage tank of other Pisces the Fishes like tetra , gouramis , cherry barbs , Lebistes reticulatus , danios , mollies , or cory catfish — taking care of course to make certain that I ’m giving each metal money ample infinite to roam within its top / middle / bottom layer , carefully poise social needs , and avoid other potential points of conflict , like pairing long - break water fish with fin - nippers . That said , I also just learned about a Au - colored breed of killifish called the Cape Lopez lyretail ( Aphyosemion australe ) that is absolutely breathless , provided , like me , you are the kind of person whose breath can be taken away by tiny fish .

Screenshot: Facebook

Screenshot: Facebook

alas I can not fit my favorite species of Pisces , the humble red - tailed black shark ( Epalzeorhynchos bicolor ) from Thailand , in a 20 - 25 gallon tank — while they ’re sold at a length of just an inch or two in stores , they can actually growup to six inches longand thus involve a tank of 55 gallons or more . That would n’t ferment then , unless Gizmodo happen to jump for a larger one . Did you know it ’s actually a metal money of carp that ’s critically endangered in the state of nature ? Wow . Unlike a shark , they wo n’t in reality run through their tankmates , but like a shark , they will chase them around to the point of enfeeblement .

By this point I ’ve credibly made at least one embarrassing error or amateurish mistake in my description of a possible setup , but that ’s just fine because translate information about potential turquoise - friends for hours and 60 minutes before I purchase them is part of the merriment .

I could build a petite footling reality of infinite selection ! Pisces OPTIONS .

Brother can I share the good news? It’s that Aphyosemion australe is a thing.

Brother can I share the good news? It’s that Aphyosemion australe is a thing.Photo: Alexander Prokoshev/Wikipedia/CC BY-SA 3.0 (Fair Use)

Anyone got any suggestion for aquarium plants Gizmodo could buy me ? I ’m thinking a copse of moneywort , hornwort , eelgrass , gnome hairgrass , and/or maybe even Rotala Rotundifola . I ’d leave some way for a Java fern , Amazon sword , or Bucephalandra . If whoever is in mission of giving me money for a Pisces tank car does n’t know what those are , that ’s all right . Just imagine a beautiful underwater timberland winding around a piece of music of driftwood and peradventure a footling sunken aircraft mail carrier . in reality , I could correct up the whole matter as a scene . peradventure the aftermath of a naval conflict or the lost metropolis of Atlantis ? I just looked it up and it fall out to me I have n’t seen a storage tank deck to look like a metropolis lapse by clime variety .

see me out : Fishmodo , bloggers of the world unite all you have to lose is everything you own in the issue of a catastrophic water wetting , etc .

Gizmodo did not reply to a request for gossip on my possible acquisition of a Pisces cooler at their expense , but my anonymous resilient - in partner sighed and said , “ Okay . ”

JUST LOOK AT THIS THING IT’S SO CUTE