In the prospicient list of stupid things done for the saki of performative secrecy , HBO ’s refusal to give any descriptions of the last two episodes of season six of Game of Thrones ranks right above pretending your oral fissure is a lock chamber and miming sprain a samara and throwing it away .
There are exactly two episodes left in season six of Game of Thrones , and , as usual , HBO annunciate the dates and names of them today . Not as usual , HBO ’s press release was lacking anything resembling an episode description . And it was n’t a mistake . consort toEntertainment Weekly , there will be no official descriptions anywhere , not even on the templet on your TV you always accidentally land up rather of the DVR . All they ’re release are the episodes ’ titles , writer , and directors .
This is stupid .
This is stupefied on every conceivable degree . First of all , have you ever seen what the prescribed synopses look like ? Here ’s last night ’s :
While Jaime ( Nikolaj Coster - Waldau ) count his choice , Cersei ( Lena Headey ) answers a request . Tyrion ’s ( Peter Dinklage ) design bear fruit . Arya ( Maisie Williams ) face a new mental testing . write by David Benioff & D. B. Weiss ; directed by Mark Mylod .
They do n’t mean anything . They never imply anything . They ’re barely even full sentences . Do you require to jazz what the sum-up was correct before the Red Wedding ? It was this :
Edmure ( Tobias Menzies ) meets his bride . Jon ( Kit Harington ) present his harsh test yet . Bran ( Isaac Hempstead Wright ) come across a new talent . Daario ( Ed Skrein ) and Jorah ( Iain Glen ) debate how to take Yunkai . House Frey conjoin with House Tully .
“ House Frey joins with House Tully . ” Yeah . I can see why they ’re so worried .
Second of all , the titles of the last two installment are “ conflict of the Bastards ” ( oh my god , I wonder what could possibly happen in that episode ) and “ The Winds of Winter , ” and that ’s the title of the book George R.R. Martin still has n’t put out .
And third , and most doltishly , they ’re still releasing teaser laggard for each sequence . Why fight through HBO ’s needlessly vague summaries when you could just watch this ?
That ’s nearly a whole second of footage from “ engagement of the Bastards , ” an episode that HBO somehow refuses to summarize as “ Jon ( Kit Harrington ) and Sansa ( Sophie Turner ) face a with child challenge . Ramsay ’s ( Iwan Rheon ) resolve is tested . ” HBO put this footage on the internet for everyone to tear apart , but a few meaningless sentences would just give away too much .
It ’s clearly just something that HBO is doing out of a smug sentiency of secrecy . It ’s a self-satisfied “ We ’re get to break clobber from The Winds of Winter before it ’s published , how cool are we ? ” and “ No one ’s going to be spoiled for this ! ”
This season ’s been passably heavy , they do n’t need to repair to this sort of trumpery .
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